When Life Gives You Lemons: My Mileage Run Goes South

Lemonade, #LAX

When I booked a trip to Hong Kong on United, the last place I expected to end up was on a dirty train passing through West Oakland. SMF-SEA-LAX-SFO turned out to be my shortest mileage run in my life ever after things went terribly wrong. Instead of being on a plane somewhere out over the Pacific right now, I’m sitting at home, behind a computer, still trying to piece together what the hell happened.

My Mileage Run to Hong Kong

My original reservation was SEA-LAX(overnight)-HNL-GUM-HKG then immediately returning HKG(redeye)-GUM-HNL(redeye)-SFO-SEA. It was one of the most ambitious mileage runs I’ve ever attempted: over 18,000 miles in 4 days. I took off Monday and was supposed to back home to Sacramento early Thursday morning to return to that other life (you know, besides mileage running).

All went according to planned on Day 1. I redeemed 4,500 British Airways Avios points for an Alaska Airlines flight to Seattle. I spent most of the day there, did the two most touristy things I could think of: Pike’s Place Market and the Space Needle, then made my way back to Sea-Tac to start my adventure with United. After two hours aboard a CRJ-200 operated by Skywest I arrived in Los Angeles where I spent the night.

Day 2: I woke up a 5:45am, got ready, left the hotel, and leisurely made my way to the United Club where I grabbed a snack and waited to board my 8:35am flight to Honolulu. I had a confirmed upgrade to First Class (UDU) and was actually looking forward to reliving the good old days at United, when I used to fly that route frequently (due to post-merger woes I’ve since shifted a lot of that business to Alaska Airlines). 10 minutes before I was going to leave the club to catch my flight, I made the mistake of checking my email.

United flight UA201 on September 17 is delayed due to late-arriving aircraft.
Now departs: 4:00 p.m. on September 17, Honolulu, HI (HNL)
Now arrives: 7:17 p.m. on September 18 at Guam (GUM)

I was originally supposed to leave HNL at 2:15 and only had a scheduled layover of 40 minutes in Guam. I knew this would cause me to misconnnect so I went to the concierge desk in the United Club at LAX to see if there was anything they could do. A very nice gentleman there helped me rebook my ticket LAX-SFO-HKG.

With a now 9:30am departure out of LAX, I had plenty more time on my hands to sit in the United Club and look out the window as the marine layer started to lift. One thing about California weather (I know from experience) is that if it’s foggy in Los Angeles, you can just about guarantee that it’s even foggier up the coast in San Francisco causing delays. Sure enough there was flow control at SFO and I continued to sit in the United Club at LAX and watch as my flight up north kept getting pushed back indefinitely.

United flight UA239 on September 17 is delayed due to air traffic control.
Now departs: 10:30 a.m. on September 17 from gate 71b, Los Angeles, CA (LAX)
Now arrives: 11:48 a.m. on September 17 at San Francisco, CA (SFO)

United flight UA239 on September 17 is delayed due to air traffic control.
Now departs: 11:00 a.m. on September 17 from gate 71b, Los Angeles, CA (LAX)
Now arrives: 12:18 p.m. on September 17 at San Francisco, CA (SFO)

This still gave me 42 minutes at SFO to catch my 1:00pm flight to Hong Kong. Unfortunately, once we boarded our flight out of LAX, we had to wait another 35-40 minutes while they rounded up a ground crew to push us back from the gate. As the captain so eloquently put it “They are attending to other duties,” so there we sat.

Once we reached cruising altitude the captain informed us of our new scheduled arrival time into San Francisco- 12:48pm. I ordered a rum and coke. When we finally landed at SFO it was 12:52 and I had 8 minutes to catch my flight. I didn’t make it. Neither did the women next to me who was also going to Hong Kong. We watched together as the 747 we were supposed to be on pushed back from gate 100. Meanwhile we were ~~still taxiing~~ stuck in a traffic jam out by terminal 3. I then got another email from United’s Customer Automated Reaccommodation System (which you can read about on page 12 of this month’s Hemispheres magazine).

Flight UA869 17SEP from SFO gate 100 is scheduled to depart at 1:00 pm and arrive into HKG at 6:15 pm. If you do not make your connecting flight you are confirmed on flight UA156 17SEP departing 2:13 pm from gate 83, SFO to HNL via LAX. The flight is now estimated to arrive HNL at 8:30 pm. This flight is operated by United Airlines.

My Flight to Hong Kong

My first stop once I got off the plane in San Francisco was once again the concierge desk at the United Club. I told the nice lady there that I had missed my flight and was completely honest with her about my intentions. She had worked there 23 years, and was very familiar with the term mileage run. Contrary to popular belief they don’t all hate us! In situations like this I’ve found it best not to lie. There she was looking at my itinerary, and she knew exactly what I paid for my ticket. Let’s face it, the only “important meeting” I’d missed in Hong Kong was with my “friend” Jack Daniels. I told her she could send me wherever she wanted to as long as I still got my miles and was back home Thursday morning (when my husband goes back to work). I know she tried her best, but sadly there were just no flights available to that part of world that would get me there and back in time to face the real world. With the purpose of my mileage run now completely eroded, I cited trip in vain and the conversation of “where do you want to go” turned into “when do you want to go”. I rescheduled in October, right after Chicago, and I am now flying direct SFO-HKG(overnight)-SFO. No Guam. No Honolulu. No Seattle. No B.S. (let’s hope). No 4 days spent on a plane crossing the Pacific and no skipping out on segments like I had originally planned (Shhhhh). I get a do-over. This mileage run however was a complete failure; I took a BART train home from the airport and called my husband to come rescue me from the East Bay.

So long story short- after flying up and down the West Coast, I ended up less than 100 miles away from home and I didn’t go to Hong Kong. I’m now out 2 days of my time, 4,500 Avios, the money I spent on a hotel room at LAX (Shhhhh), a Regional Premier Upgrade that I applied to my return trip, and about 3,000 valuable PQM’s (due to a more efficient routing) that I desperately need in order to make 1K this year. Ironically, I’ll be just about 600 miles short, which is the distance between San Francisco and Seattle.

I’m not mad.

Instead I’ve chosen to look on the bright side of things:

The people at the United Club were just great. I can’t say enough about how graciously they tried to help me, despite all the went wrong. I know we all like to b**** about how the airline has “enhanced” things lately, but membership is still worth its weight in gold due to situations like this. Ok, full disclosure, I got in for FREE because I am Gold (Star Alliance, that is) traveling on an “international” itinerary. I have no doubt in my mind that if I had to go to the regular Customer Service outside the club, I’d still be there arguing. The best people work on the inside, and even if I had to pay to get in, it’d still worth it. That’s saying a lot, because I’m pretty cheap.

I also really enjoyed my day in Seattle and I hope to explore more of the city as I continue to foster a relationship with that other airline I’ve been seeing.

I actually had a very pleasant 57 minute flight up the now-sunny California coast. It was onboard a vintage 757 with a real United crew and I was once again welcomed aboard “The Friendly Skies”.

I finally found a change that I like! New glasses. They’re now small enough so two of them can fit on the same armrest (this used to be a problem) and they have a great big new logo on them, to help remind me of the reason I’m drinking.

I get to plan another mini vacation to Hong Kong where I’ll now be spending the night.

I got home early, spent some quality time with my family, and got to sleep in my own bed instead of another airplane seat. Yeah, I know that’s not what I signed up for, but somehow what I ended up with feels so much better.